


I hate you enough to last me a lifetime

by Umi (umichii)



Series: 30 Kisses [13]
Category: Groove Adventure RAVE | Rave Master
Genre: Alternate universe - canon divergent, Gen, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-25
Updated: 2011-05-25
Packaged: 2018-08-28 23:58:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8467972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umichii/pseuds/Umi
Summary: I hate you enough to last me a lifetime. But never turn your back on me.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the LJ Comm 30_kisses, prompt #19: red
> 
>  _Original A/Ns_  
>  A/N: I think I need to write a proper Rave fic. You know, one that is actually canon though not really. And oh. Title is very random, as usual. Don't look too deep into it. And also; this is such a long and strange fic that it has moved to so many prompts.  
> A/N2: I started writing this some time in July, 2010. It is now May, 2011. Almost June. I am beyond ashamed with this, but I just want to get it over with, dammit. So yeah. Urgh.

It is human nature for Shuda not to back down from a fight, and even more innate for him to assert his opinion when his honour is at stake. Thus it disturbed him deeply—could barely control himself, in fact—when Sieg simply let the insults fly with much ignorance. That curt bow and those lowering eyes, pale lips pursed into a solemn line; Shuda hated that sight more than anything else.

Weak. So pathetically weak. A true man isn't like that; a _true man_ does not let himself be ridiculed like a clown by the greater fool.

“Why did you do it?”

Sieg didn't answer, lips tightly sealed as it had always been and would always be. The mage never open that mouth of his, he noted, unless he was giving an order or reciting spells. Not even when he was in the highest throes of passion—on second thought, could he even feel it? He knew Reina was simply joking when she called him an ice block, but if she was serious about it, he'd be more than just disturbed.

“It is none of your business.”

Glaring, Shuda released his sword from its sheath with a flick of his finger. Such arrogance. It lacked tampering. Just how much do the Mildeans trust this man with, enough to let him enter Demon Card like this? “I'll make it mine then.”

Steel met solidified magical particles, little sparks of friction flying off in reaction. _This_ force, this awfully compelling force behind those belying lanky shoulders and arms were what made him so damn attracted to this stupid ice cube. Hearing rather than seeing the cracking of steel, Shuda stared disbelievingly at his sword's blade, at the lightning sparks chipping the blade. _How..._

“You're ten years too early to challenge me,” Sieg whispered, voice so low and soft he could barely hear it over the sound of the crackling lightning. “And you're too arrogant to think your presence is worthwhile.”

A hard push from the other side then seconds after, he was flat on his back, his own sword flying yards away as it broke into two. He could feel the warm radiation of magic near his neck, scratching his skin.

Cold, purple eyes narrowed dangerously, a gleam in those irises lighting only in very rare occurrences. How hard had he pushed? No idea. Probably hard enough to hit a nerve.

“You're always so confident of yourself, always believing what is mine is yours as well simply because we shared more than just our beds. How hypocritical of you to think such, when in fact you hide every truth for you're nothing but a _coward_.”

Anger bubbled inside of him, fierce enough to ignite the band of gold and its dark stone wrapped around his wrist. He wasn’t a _coward_ nor was he hypocritical. He hides _nothing_ from anyone. No one asked, and thus there was no reason for him to say anything. _As simple as that._

“Aren't you being hypocritical yourself? Pointing the blame at me...”

“I'm not.” Sieg’s narrowed eyes relaxed slightly. “I'm merely stating a well-known fact.”

_Bastard._

“You don't know.” Sieg’s voice lowered so deep a part of him yelled silently in frustration at how apathetic those amethyst eyes were becoming. “You have _no idea_.” But who was it that made it so? Who was it that hid everything, who insisted a still great line existed between them? Their worlds had already met, blending well enough to become one. Their beliefs, their ideals, their _hopes_... all of those, they had shared. Hadn't they already crossed the boundary between the physical and the emotional?

“Just what is this to you?”

Was it a game, all of this? Nothing but a game to play and to pass the time, to let the slow tick-tocking of the clock sound melodious. But to him, to _Shuda_ , it was more than just that. This was already a world that they were building _together_. Not just a make-believe or a fancy story to tell.

“Nothing more than just a distraction.”

His heart fell as the memory of their first shared kiss, that shy brushing of lips under the cold fall of snow, frost settling on their shoulders and on top of their heads, that beautiful yet delicate image shattering into tiny, little pieces he can never be able to pick up anymore.

Whatever shred of hope he had wrapped around his soul snapped, leaving behind nothing but a tattered heart, bliss snatched away. The snake coiled tightly around his heart, piercing it right with its fangs, ceasing that fast pumping of blood and tainting it. Red; he could see nothing but red; nothing but anger accumulated from frustration. There was so much rage and so much anger that flames erupted everywhere into a furious storm of hellfire. The ground shook, marble tiled floor bursting as the walls cracked, thin, vein-like lines stretching towards the ceiling.

When he blinked, the world righted itself. Naught remained of his quarry; just the shadow of his presence, the descending echoes of his footsteps unfaltering with each step until there was nothing else to hear.

For that moment, Shuda hated his hesitancy. Even he was not man enough to chase after a ghost of what-ifs. He just held it there, that moment frozen in time, close to his heart and clutched it tightly so that he had at least something of worth to hold on to. Only when the time had arrived will he let it go, just like how he let shadow walk away. But for now, he’ll hold on to it.

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